An inexorable whirlpool of thought

4:35pm: First Impressions of a New House
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Most of my stuff is now out of boxes in my new room at 327 William St. (known as the Gentlemen's Club to its tenants and friends -- mostly because no ladies would ever deign to visit). I won this room in an epic showdown last year, and it's pretty cool. Kurisu is downstairs getting pwned at Melee (which is amazing, because he's already way better than me), Addison is mysterious, and Evan+Julian are not moved in yet.
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I need to buy some Febreeze. I am unhappy with the smell assaulting my nostrils at the moment (and I have a pretty terrible sense of smell). I also need to have a TV. I completely forgot mine in my room at home. Don't ask. I will deal with my 360 set up downstairs on the common TV for now (which is, to be fair, twice as big). I also forgot the sheets to this bed, so I bought ones... that are a size too small. It's quite hilarious (and futile) to try and get them to fit.
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I've already been copyediting for the last couple nights for Diatribe, so I've already been spiritually invested in being here for a while. Back to the Diatribe office tomorrow... (after D&D; some things never change)
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1:10am: a walk to remember
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I went for a walk tonight. I found enlightenment on the corner of Merion and City Ave. but lost it on the way back. I called some people I needed to call. I realize that I seem to be trying to relive that summer after high school, and that's weird. I know I'm not important to a lot of people, but I have good times and whatever.
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There's both so much and so little I want to say.
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1:01am: nothing
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A night in Valley Forge under the stars.
A night at Ocean City, wandering the beach.
A night (or ten) at Edgely catching discs and eating grills.
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I don't do anything, but damn is nothing fun.
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10:36pm: ...
Because I'm too lazy to format
2008 F MATH 310 0.50 84 A GROUP THEORY
2008 F MATH 326 0.50 92 A FUNCTS. OF A COMPLEX VARIABLE
2008 F MATH 341 0.50 92 A DIFFERENTIAL GEOMETRY
2008 F MATH 401 0.50 94 A GRAPH THEORY
2008 F PHYS 313 0.50 86 A COMPUTATIONAL METHODS IN PHYS

2009 W MATH 328 0.50 85 A REAL ANALYSIS
2009 W MATH 481 0.50 88 A MATHEMATICAL LOGIC
2009 W MATH 491 0.50 94 A TOPICS IN MATHEMATICS I [Algebraic Number Fields]
2009 W STAT 353 0.50 80 A PROBABILITY II
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I failed miserably to find something math-research-related to do this summer. Puts a real damper on my plans to get into a good grad school. It's become such a tough field. BAH.
Gordon's probably getting promoted to assistant manager at EB... I might end up back there for one more summer. Isn't that what I said last summer?
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Mothership's spring season was totally wrecked. Next year, I'm in charge of that stuff, so... no pressure. I'm on Jim Brose's summer league team. Oughta be fun. I don't think I'll be playing much with Love this summer. Can't go to the series, so no real point in going to many tournaments, where my playing time would suck anyway. Just practice with them, keep playing, maybe be a decent player at some point in my life... watch high school ultimate for a couple more weeks... life.
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Life.
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9:23pm: get get get get get over it
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So I have an account set up at "MyAnimeList", because I'm like that, and to help fill out my "start/end" dates, because I can't find the actual 1st/3rd wave schedules, I went through my old LJ posts to peg down some dates.
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First off, it's amazing that Third Wave was almost 6 years ago.
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Second off, I think I'm over it. (That's a way bigger deal than you know).
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What did strike me was some late journal entries from Stein/Trat, and how... emo they were too. Weren't we all, and wasn't life something else back then.
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If I keep telling people I want to go to grad school, will it become true again?
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1:11pm: sleep
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Today was the first day in over a month (since October 19th, to be exact), that I was able to sleep in.
I slept until 10:30.
I've never felt so refreshed.
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What have I become?
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One more week of classes, have to get one more boatload of assignments done, then the computational project (I'm solving the 3-body problem, one variable timestep at a time!), then exams! Since when did I get scared of algebra?
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11:22pm: self-refereed means a lot of things
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I caught that Callahan.
I know it. Rom knows it.
Fuck G-Dub.
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2:44am: linked
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So I removed the link to "Love and Chaos" from this journal. It was a surprisingly profound move. I never want to update these styles.
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I still have pictures of the bobble saved on our old Desktop CPU at home. But my father is having FIOS installed on Monday (Which is Canadian Thanksgiving), and finally installing a computer they bought... far too long ago. And wasn't a good purchase by any stretch.
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12:38am: a glance
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So I've had some crazy days (10 hours in Jeffrey) and nights (in Stirling), and more... but whatever.
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I'm taking a lot of math (graph theory, group theory, complex analysis, differential geometry) and a little physics (computational physics -- my first computer science ever). I dropped quantum mechanics because when that's your _extra_ course, that's a little much.
I'm TAing a first year calc course (for non-math majors)
I'm co-president of Queen's DDR Club.
I'm playing ultimate... Mothership is interesting.
There's still (again?) the Math & Stats DSC.
The Phillies make me happy but... do I believe? I sure don't in the Eagles.
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Apparently my music tastes haven't actually changed that much since grade 11... I finally got around to syncing my iPod, but since my external HD died long ago, I had only our family desktop this summer. So I have everything I liked back then, and... it keeps me happy. Although I _cannot_ listen to Good Charlotte anymore. That has changed.
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This weekend was homecoming. People got drunk. Lots of my housemates' friends stayed over for the weekend. (Uschi's friends were pretty cute, actually).
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I play Rock Band 2 (oh yeah, I bought an XBOX360 this summer).
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That's... me?
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1:40pm: Marks and stuff
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2007 F MATH 231 0.50 86 A DIFFERENTIAL EQUATIONS
2007 F MATH 280 0.50 82 A ADVANCED CALCULUS
2007 F PHYS 206 0.50 75 B DYNAMICS
2007 F PHYS 242 0.50 82 A RELATIVITY AND QUANTA
2007 F STAT 268 0.50 92 A STATISTICS & PROBABILITY I
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2008 W MATH 210 0.50 95 A RINGS AND FIELDS
2008 W MATH 281 0.50 93 A INTRODUCTION TO REAL ANALYSIS
2008 W PHYS 212 0.50 89 A WAVES AND VIBRATIONS
2008 W PHYS 239 0.50 73 B ELECTROMAGNETISM
2008 W STAT 269 0.50 90 A STATISTICS & PROBABILITY II
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Remember when I used to post stuff like that? I'm busy picking out my classes for next year (a lot harder since I decided I'm pretty sure I won't do Mathematical Physics, but instead an SSP in math with a physics focus or whatever) and it's compounded by the fact that it feels like EVERYTHING is offered in the fall and nothing in the winter next year, and... bah. I forget math. What's a domain again?
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Oh yeah, and my internet is spotty at best at home, so... yeah.
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8:34pm: fast hands
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This week went by pretty fast.
These twenty years have gone by pretty fast.
I guess I just forgot to budget things like ultimate practice into my time this week. Oh, and studying. Yes, I know, shocking, but I had to spend quite a bit of time doing that the last two weeks. I'm learning how to study more than I'm actually learning any course material, but that's good. I guess.
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One last exam tomorrow morning, then it's on the road.
Don't get too excited to see me in LM, though. After I'm home for a couple hours, I'll be picked up by ESJ and on my way to Cape Henlopen State Park, for my first club tourney of the season.
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After said test, I'll be halfway done my undergraduate career.
Wow.
At least I've got 8 more degrees ahead of me!
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1:09am: Obama/Rodham Clinton
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I want to want to vote for Obama later this month in the primary. But I find it hard.
I would love for someone to tell me why I should, in a well thought out manner, without using the words "change" or "hope" once. I really would love that.
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The championship game tonight was... interesting. The first half and a half (hahaha) was pretty ugly, but right when Memphis opened their biggest lead, things started getting interesting (without the foul-every-two-seconds play-style). I rooted for Memphis, in that I think Derrick Rose will be good, but man, did he show any emotion the entire game?
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Exams? E&M is scary, I guess. I'll manage with the rest.
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10:05pm: we're all people
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I'm dead tired and sunburnt and beyond sore but it's all okay.
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I pulled the shotgun shift from Clarks Summit to Virginia both on the way down and back up to North Carolina for Easterns. We got there a day early in order to take over the beach, which we did, quite successfully. There are pictures up on facebook, especially some of shirtless Chris (HOTT!) but really, it was enjoyable, even though I got sunburnt through my poorly applied SPF 15 sunscreen over the course of 8 hours on the sand.
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The tournament itself could've gone better: we were beaten by UNCW, NC State, and UNC, though NC State was a game we easily could have won, and we were plagued by drops all weekend. Like, discs that were perfectly thrown, in people's hands, and OOF, dropped onto the ground. I was responsible for one, bringing my total turnovers for the season to one. Considering it was our first outdoor tournament (besides HotI in Salisbury, which was worse conditions than anything), and the weather was still pretty poor during the actual games (sunny on Friday for the beach, at least, but rainy and windy for the games). Considering all that (I'm pretty sure my grammar fell apart sometime in the last couple sentences), I feel good enough, and can't wait for sectionals. Cornell's not COMPLETELY out of reach.
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However, players from Wilmington are still not in my good graces. My first club open tournament was in Wilmington, beginning of last summer, and the same unspirited graces followed. They just don't get it. But it's not all of North Carolina, as I once believed. It was the Warriors at the club tourney (from Wilmington), and it was UNCW I hated, not NC State or UNC. Duke upsetting UNC at Easterns was pretty funny, too, after last week's March Madness.
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I don't feel quite comfortable in pretty much any of our classes right now. A couple days will hopefully get me back in the groove, but we'll see. I'm too ready for everything to be over... which it will be quite soon. Last week of classes started today and I'm ready for it to end and to write some exams, though they'll probably take more preparation than I'm used to. I'll manage. Then, um, home sometime after my last exam on April 18th, possibly playing at Henlopen for the Beth Coltman Memorial Tournament that weekend? Then, working at EB Games, and... I'm ahead of myself a tad. I'm still ready for it. Very.
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9:36pm: constants aren't so constant anymore
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I hold thoughts in my head too long, letting them bounce around. I just hate... bring up things. I hate broaching subjects. From the trivial to the life-altering. It's part of why I still write here. To... say things. The mundane, the meaningful, I don't even know. Or care. I'm not even thinking of anything in particular right now.
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When does e>pi? When we had a math club debate on the subject today.
Jeff, Dan and I made signs, ranging from 2.71828182845904523... to "e" and "fence", to various infinite sums to express e. (1/n!) being the obvious one. e won, thanks to some loud cheering and Prof. Roth's good work.
Argument of the night:
"Let me define co=c/rt(pi). Then E=m*c^2 gives us E=pi*m*co^2. Oh look! A pi in Einstein's equation! Pi must be very important!"
Not verbatim.
You probably had to be there.
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I almost wish Jeph's plan for Huck of the Irish had come to fruition. But I'm happy how I am. And I thoroughly enjoyed The Judge heckling The Joker in our game against Salisbury. We played well enough for the winds, I played pretty well (ZERO turnovers on the weekend). Stupid weather, but a fun hotel and we manage.
Next stop, North Carolina.
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10:58am: I love... love? I don't care what it does to me.
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[22:18:48] Fantusta: I like too many things.
[22:18:50] Fantusta: I don't love anything.
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6:48pm: Tegan and Sara and Ellen Page
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YES I KNOW MY BRIGHT ORANGE JACKET IS ORANGE. AND BRIGHT.
I'm sorry Queen's has a love affair with the colour black, but get over it. I don't need to hear it from every random passerby.
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At DDR club a couple weeks ago, Christine said my face looked sad.
Have I ever looked sad?
*insert arbitrary 'your face' joke here*
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I didn't get a don interview because my personality was 'too forceful'.
Great.
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12:08pm: please don't take my picture
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It's been a bad week.
Reflecting back and trying to write about it, it doesn't seem so bad. But I was notsohappy during all of it.
Bianca informed me she didn't think anything long-distance could ever work. I got pretty sick and slept in through two days of classes. I didn't even get an interview for a don position (so now I'm stuck having to figure out what I'm doing next year for living; stay here or go to residence anyway?)
Luckily the weekend has been much nicer. And there's always Diablo II. Julian, Ryan, Vince, and I have all started up again. All Paladins. All awesomeness.
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I have enough good days. I know this, that in general, in life, I am blessed. I'll live.
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1:26am: brimful of asha
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Over winter break, I didn't see Barber, Jin, or Benny, once.
I think a lot about certain random events. Like after the Harriton and LM graduations, and the taping and AV stuff that involved, Jin-huon, Benny and I went to IHOP and then to Ben's or my house and watched CBBB. I thought that would be quite the seminal moment of my high school life, comparable to skipping prom but going to post-prom at Benny's with Jin and girls (that left early).
I don't think I've hung out with the two of them since.
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I went on a date with Bianca instead, over winter break.
There's your change.
But Juno was really really cute.
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I won't go on about how old I am.
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8:52pm: I am so smart... s m r t.
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We've gotten three midterms back so far.
The lowest mark I've gotten was a 100%.
- 38/38 on Diff EQs, MATH 231.
- 42/41 on Relativity and Quanta, PHYS 242.
- 112% on Intro Statistics, STAT 268.
Vector calc was today, I'm sure I didn't get 100%, but still. People said second year was supposed to be the hardest in math/physics? Dynamics, the one course with 4 tests instead of midterms, not going quite as well, but Somi is ridiculously nice and makes things doable.
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These marks are making it really hard to convince people of three things:
1. Queen's is a quality academic institution.
2. OTHER universities have far worse grade inflation.
3. I am not a crazy super genius.
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Last exam is December 15th, home sometime that night or the day after.
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6:18pm: sports
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Don't bring 9 guys to a 3-day national championship ultimate tournament.
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Sometimes I hate sports. Momentum is only as good as the next day's starting pitcher, and no one ever wants to admit how much skill is based on the luck of the bounce.
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3:27pm: in other news
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I am an overprivileged kid.
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We might not be going to Nationals. This is a joke to me. I clearly value ultimate too highly, but is it so ridiculous to want to play for a team that takes the team seriously? Our captains don't run much of a ship (c wut i did thar?), but this shouldn't happen like this. At least Natties will clearly be in Ontario/Quebec the next couple years. And damned if we're not going to sectionals.
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Tear the roof off.
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11:36pm: silly me
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I curse this exchange rate. My tuition has soared in the last year, just because the American dollar is losing power so quickly and as of about a week ago, the exchange rate is 1:1... even slightly in favour of the Canadian dollar. It's terrible for everything, my cost of living has just shot up.
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2nd year, eh?
The ultimate team is imploding. Ernie doesn't even think we'll go to nationals. I'm still confident we will, but we are a joke compared to what Queen's legacy has been. I just seem to forget how to throw in the Canadian air. Maybe I'm just not a good fit for our offense anyway.
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I can't help but constantly asking myself, though... would I be happier just at home? It's a silly, stupid question, but it keeps in my mind. I had a great summer working and hanging out, and I could work a lot more without summer league in the way. I have friends here, they just drink a lot more (which I don't) and we can't hang out in the same way.
It's stupid. I shouldn't be thinking like this. But I have been. It's frustrating.
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Classes are, well, easy so far. First test is Thursday in Dynamics. We'll see how it really goes.
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5:15pm: Phightins
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The Philadelphia Phillies.
Your 2007 National League East Divisional Champions.
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This is the happiest day of my life.
Phuck Yeah.
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2:49pm: her name is lucy but her friends call her loose
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Discard this message
Burn this city down

Discard this message
Throw this bottle back in the ocean
Rip this page from the history books
Smash all the street signs
Erase all the maps
Forget my name
Forget my face
Because it's going to rain
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3:06pm: unfortunately, we'll have to take you
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This has been, and will be, the busiest, craziest, change-i-est summer evar.
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I got fully finally totally hired today, filled out the forms, got my work schedule (starting with 7.5 hours tomorrow!)
If you want to buy (or even better, reserve) games, come to the EB on City Ave! Make me look good! Or at least make fun of me.
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